In return for giving away my right to a trial, my right to ask any court for leniency, the right to do whatever I want inside my own home or with friends, the right to schedule my days wherever and whenever I want; I've gained the chance to have a life that no longer is mirrored with the painful memories of drug use, or failed employment or relationships. This trade Drug Court offered me is more than a second chance to erase a felony, but a trade I cannot ignore. To me it is a trade that gives me life, and who wouldn't think that is a fair trade.
Instead of those rights, I get the chance to separate myself from the labels that have followed me for the last 20 years, only leaving for brief period of times. I don't know how difficult or frustrating this agreement might become, but in the end, I've made my decision. I want to live free from all the things that have dragged me down. I'm no better than anyone else, but to me a little less in the freedom departments for awhile is a trade I'm willing to make, and one that I think is more than fair.
I've watched how Drug Court has graduated people, and some of these people I know. And, they are not the same people I knew when they started. This is scary, in some regards, I don't want to change the person I am, but maybe I need the change the person I've become. I know, I have a lot to lose, but I'm curious and willing to see all that I have to gain. Today, I signed away those rights, maybe tomorrow I will gain more than I bargained for, or ever saw possible. I really hope this is the case, because I've already lost so much behind the trades I made in my past.
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