DRUG COURT BRINGS AN OPEN MIND TO A FRESH START

By Sean Cutshall

For what many are calling a "waste of time", or the "impossible mission", I'm choosing to call mine and the court's decision to place me in Drug Court a fresh start, and a chance to gain real recovery and long-term sobriety.

I can't predict the future, but I am determined to have an open mind to what the future obligations of drug court might bring to my life. Experience and heartache has only proven two things, I do not have the capabilities withing my grasp to use drugs, even for a day, and not damage the current situations in my life. In detailed conversations with my self, I've convinced "me" that I can do this task, but it always comes back to prove me wrong. And, in proving me wrong, the evidence becomes increasingly louder and more painful.

So, with everything to lose and everything to gain, I will proceed forward with optimism and an open mind. I owe a real, honest effort with the hurdles and challenges I will soon and often be facing with my participation in Drug Court.

This week, I will have a drug evaluation done to determine where I'm at in my addiction. Following this evaluation, I will move forward with some sort of treatment plan, something I feel will be frustrating with my current schedule and needed. I feel like my life, over the past year, has shown I know and can do what it takes to be clean for extended amount of times, but there seems to be a "hump" in the journey, which has stalled me many, many times in the past.

Also, this week, I will meet with my Drug Court Attorney, to be made aware of what it is exactly I am getting myself into, at least on a legal status. I've been made aware, I will give up a lot of my rights to participate, but will have the chance to complete the Drug Court program and have my record wiped clean of the charge, something I've never been offered in the past.

I know my upcoming participation is critical in my success, and I will proceed with an open mind, and give my recovery, and my life, a real, honest effort. I want more for my life, and I'm determined to achieve consistent, stability in my life.